Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I Know a thing or two about

So, when we left off with our story, Baby Skaterboy had just been born and I was visiting Baby Quinn crying into his little sleeper...

That was the pretty part. But, as I said before, Once you choose Life...Life actually happens. I turned 20 a week after Skaterboy was born. I was completely in love with him. He was perfect. My parents let me stay with them for the first year. I went to school to try and finish my degree. It was hard living with my parents. I didn't get to be The Mom. The reality is that my mom was The Mom. And my mom and I have never had a good relationship. ever.

I moved out when Skaterboy was 10 months old. We were on public assistance for 3 years. Because I did not have insurance coverage for Skaterboy, he was on Medicaid. We were on the WIC program and government subsidized daycare so I could go to school. And I worked. The sad fact of it was I didn't get to spend time with my Baby Skaterboy. I was working too hard to make a life for us. You know, that Life that I chose. And don't think I didn't begin to feel like a schmuck because I knew I could have given him an easier life...just without me. It was just too much and I quit school. I started working full time and eventually made enough money and got benefits so that I could go off public assistance.

Public Assistance is NOT the free lunch that those who are not on it think that it is. The Office was a desperate place. just desperate and depressing. Not at all uplifting or empowering. You wait forever to see your case worker who only makes you feel like an even bigger loser. Then, after you have secured your benefits you have to use them. Humiliation number 2. Going to the grocery store and trying to follow all the rules for WIC, then going to the check out and praying that nobody comes up behind you, (which is why you shop as late as possible), then facing the exasperation and eye rolling from the checkout lady. You're a squished bug by the time you leave. Humiliation number 3...finding a provider that uses Medicaid. Skaterboy had a small bony nodule on the side of his head that my pediatrician sent me to a surgeon to see if he needed surgery to take care of it. I had to go to the state hospital. Another desperate place. Another long wait. When the surgeon finally saw us, he was so rough with Baby Skaterboy and so dismissive. "Yeah, we can do surgery on that." ummmm...or no you won't, Dr. Evil. We never got the surgery and the lump went away on its own.

My point of this part of the story is this...without public assistance I would not have been able to choose Life. It is an integral part of the equation that many conservative pro-lifers just aren't getting. If you want women to choose Life, than you have to help them get on their feet after life is chosen. Help them finish school, help them get insurance, help them with job skills. These are key.


Kelly said...

Well said, and well done, great job!

Cakes said...

thanks. I needed to get that off my chest.

Sophie said...

OK, I moved on to this post after looking at the Thursday one. This is me cheering you: YEA, HURRAY, THAT' SO TRUE, whistle, whistle. More people need to say what you have said.

And I hope times have gotten better for you. It looks like they have.

Paula said...

You are SO right. As a Catholic, I feel that abortion is wrong, but I don't believe that legislating it into illegality or marching outside clinics is the way to do it. We need to change the reasons that people have abortions and make it easier to choose life. And have you ever noticed that the loudest members of the prolife movement are not lining up to adopt all of those imperfect children, which there would be many more of if we outlawed abortion? The sick, drug adddicted, etc. babies?

That said, there are still some people that are irresponsible and careless and never wanted a child and use it as birth control.

Paula said...
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