Friday, May 18, 2007

My blog and I aren't speaking right now.

It's nothing Blog did or didn't do. It's nothing personal, really. I this. I'm a really bad friend. Blog and I were getting along just fine. I couldn't wait to tell Blog all about what I had done that day, and some days I even walked around thinking about how I would tell Blog this story and how funny it would be. Just like I do with all new friends. And then, well. I just started avoiding Blog. I mean consciously avoiding Blog. I'd click down on my bookmark menu, and there Blog would be at the very top. And I would quickly click on something else as I inwardly groaned, and hope that Blog didn't see me and notice I clicked elsewhere...

I was actually just talking to Dr. Steve (he's Chowder and my therapist) about this on Thursday. He suggested I might have some intimacy issues. (As if!) I am lucky that the group of friends I have don't really need me so much. Oh, they love me and enjoy being with me, and they are wonderful friends, but when I do this to them, they shrug and wait for me to come back around. We've been friends for long enough that they call it my "Hermit Mode." It's very cyclical. But, Chowder found my Blog avoidance rather humorous. "You know, you're really just avoiding yourself, right?" hmmmm. that is rather pathetic.

I can't really explain what happens. I just suddenly burrow. out of nowhere. for no good reason. And then just as suddenly a few months later, I look around and wonder where everyone is and why nobody likes me and I don't have any friends! But, luckily I do. I have wonderful friends. Even here. Thanks Kellylynn for giving me a nudge. As my penance I will post a picture of Chowder and I at Junior and then Senior Prom.

be nice. The 80's were a bitch for everyone...