Monday, March 10, 2008

Peek-In-Monday...A Peek Into My Crazy

Sometimes when I am having a hard time shaking a compulsion, I'll record myself and then watch it objectively and many times this will help to get me to snap out of that particular compulsion. Many times. not always. So, after three days and many hours spent on my latest compulsion, I decided to record it. I never share these with anyone. I have always deleted them right away.

I've debated whether to share this with you, because it is an incredibly intimate picture into my world and my self. But in the end I figured, "What the hell! I don't know these people anyway." and I wanted to share this with you and couldn't find the words to express myself. So, listen to the whole thing (there is no picture). All 9 mins and 14 secs. (I edited it down from 44 mins and 37 seconds) I know I know. You'll be bored after the first 3 minutes, but go ahead and power through. for me.

We'll talk later.
When I can get my words and thoughts to work together.

(btw~I tend to have a bit of a mouth on me when I berate myself. Not like Rated R more like Rated PG...maybe PG 13.)

11 comments:

gem said...

I don't believe it! I heard it too, you are not dreaming. Wasn't today the day you were to go for your scan? Thinking of you +++

gem said...

Ok, just checked back. It's Friday, silly me. I can't bear this. I have no idea how you are coping. Hang in there.

Melanie said...

I heard something, too, Kate. Prayers and (((HUGS))) for you and little one. Please keep us updated.

Jenni said...

There is an unmistakeable heartbeat there, Kate, and it seems far too fast to be your own. ((((HUGS)))) and prayers...

I would be obsessed too.

Mel said...

So sorry you have to ride this shit roller coaster again. I hope it all works out for you and Chowder. What a ride.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us, you are a brave lady.

JLP said...

I heard it too. Right around 7 minutes. They're hard to find this early but I heard it.

Wow. I am sending tons of prayers this week. Friday, right?

Jennifer

stickgirl said...

I heard it too at 7 minutes and at 8:40. I know your history but I know other women have had bleeding and then still delivered a baby. So I'm still hoping for the best outcome for you. I know you want to protect your heart, at the same time you want to believe the little fighter will make it!

Thinking of you.

Rae said...

Wow. Keeping you in my prayers girl!!

Kellylynn said...

All i can think of is this baby better have a strong name. I am thinking of you every day.

Elizabethw said...

I heard it, too. WHEN are you going to the Dr.?

Elizabeth

shaz said...

kate, i am praying for you dear. i heard it too. take care of yourself.