Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Lazarus and all that...

Obviously Sweeting hasn't come back to life. She was always there. But my hope, for better or worse, has come back to life. I found the heartbeat again yesterday, but not this morning. Still bleeding. Still no symptoms.

While Sweeting has made it to a critical stage, she is still far from safe. I have seen babies on office ultrasound machines, hearts beating, one day and two days later, at the viability ultrasound they have gone. I have seen a baby waving his hands at me, and listened to his heartbeat, and then suddenly at 13 weeks he silently slipped out into the toilet with no warning. So, my newly reborn hope is still very subdued.

I have an appointment on Friday morning where I'll ask for an ultrasound if they don't have one already. I won't do the blood work. I really hope she makes it until then. The worst miscarriages are the ones that come and go with nothing concrete to hold on to. I would love to see her and have pictures of her. 2 more days, Little Sweeting. 2 more days.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your words to your sweeting give me chills. I don't know if it helps or not, but I'm really hoping for you. Two more days, indeed.

Elizabethw said...

I wish I could hug you. I am at a loss for words (unlike you, whose words are always powerful and beautiful).

Elizabeth

Mel said...

Hang in there baby Laz. Rooting for you both.
xxx

valerie said...

Oh, I never expected this. My heart aches for you, dear, for the uncertainty of it all. Keeping you (and Sweeting) in my prayers.

Jenni said...

OH, hoping so hard for you. And praying. And sending hugs to both of you from afar...

Michele said...

This is one hell of a roller coaster ride, isn't it?

Each time I've been pregnant I have set certain goals that I need to make. "If they can just make it to ...." I'm still doing it both for myself and for you.

Thinking about you and keeping my hopes up for Friday and for the next week and the next week and so on.

Jenny said...

Hang in there.

gem said...

will be saying a prayer for you tomorrow

Lori said...

kate, i've been thinking about you every single day. i'm relieved friday is here and i'm hoping and praying that it brings good news. please update when you can. you are so strong....i admire your strength.

blue

Cynthia & J-L said...

I'm aching for you and praying for you right now.

Melanie said...

Thinking of and praying for you and your little one.