Sunday, November 04, 2007

The toughest parenting choice, so far...

I've been discussing with just about everyone who will stop 5 minutes to talk to me about it... teenagers and birth control. The mothers that I have talked to, all offered very insightful opinions and arguments that gave me many things to think about. Because most of the moms I chat with do not have teenagers, but preschoolers, it made me pine for the "hypothetical years" when my opinion was also so firm, when I saw this issue in such a beautiful, clear black and white. But, there is something very valuable in these views because they have not yet been muddied.

I have talked to our family counselor about the whole thing and he agreed with my original plan, only to follow me through the mud and agree with me on the exact opposite course of action. But, that's how this issue is. I agreed 100% with every point that every person was making. But like all parenting, so much rhetoric and advice is really just that. In the end you have to look into the face of your individual child and take in account your individual family and move forward with honesty and faith.

I had talked the issue to death. So much talk inevitably leads to inaction to paralyzation as you are overwhelmed by so many options. Then Becky's dad dropped off Skaterboy after a movie. Darling, sweet, funny, adorable Becky. She came in to see the new kittens. I looked at her with her fresh, innocent skin and pretty smile still full of braces and I thought, "What would Becky's mother want me to say to Skaterboy?"

I am entirely aware that unlike smoking or truancy, this decision made by my teenage son will not just effect my family but sweet honor student, social justice club member, soccer player Becky and her family not just as much, but actually more so.