Monday, July 30, 2007

Options for Skaterboy...

We have come up with several options for Skaterboy regarding his education. None of them are pretty. None of them are ideal. But, hey! This is where we are and we have to deal with reality. right?

  1. Forget high school all together. Go to GED classes, take the test, get the GED. Then, he can go to Junior College and take classes there. Any classes he takes will be college credit and he can transfer to a 4 year college to finish his degree. If that dream world doesn't pan out, at minimum he has his GED.
  2. Sign over Guardianship and he lives with my mom while attending public school. (Not going to happen!)
  3. He does one semester of C or higher in the school district's Virtual School and then after he has proven he is serious about his education, enroll him in private school.
  4. Do full on homeschooling. No holds barred.
I discussed these options with him. To the adults in his life option #1 makes the best sense to us. But, we want what makes the best sense to Skaterboy. So, when we presented him with the options he reiterated that he wants to go to high school. He doesn't want to just skip over it. That leaves us then with option #3.

I have to admit, I hate this option. To me, it is the worst of both worlds. It is the boring textbook rote memorization crap of public school mixed with the isolation (real or apparent) of homeschooling. I think this will be a disaster. But, I can't let on to Skaterboy that I feel that way because I don't want to set him up for failure. I was tempted to say, "Ok. Let's just enroll him again in private school. This self-guided virtual school will only play to all of his weaknesses and will never work out." But, I caught myself. He has to prove himself. Both to Chowder and I, and to himself. We all need to know he's serious.

To help with this mountain, our valiant family counselor, Dr. Steve, is going to help hook us up with a "Life Coach" of sorts. Someone completely objective (and clearly not me), to keep him on task and on schedule. To help him plan out a schedule and set up goals and to guide him through the process of meeting those goals. I figure it accomplishes several things. First, it means I'm not the bad guy that he can pin the responsibility on, not the nag, not the disappointed mother. Second, it teaches him some valuable life skills. Third, it hopefully will get him through, already!! And in the end, if option #3 doesn't work out, there is still option #1.

What I am having a hard time understanding is that every time I come up with a worst-case-scenario in my mind for Skaterboy's education, we end up in that scenario and I create and even worse worst-case-scenario and then suddenly there we are. So, am I somehow making these scenarios come true like self-fulfilling prophesies? Who are these the worst-case-scenarios for? him or me? Am I just continuing to lower the standards? Should I just forget all the scenarios and drop the "worse better" language? Do I really have any control over how this ends? Should I have control?


julie said...

Sounds like you are being a great parent to me. Trying to figure out what will work for your child and supporting him in it.

I like to have control over all things also. I would drop the worse/better language and just take it one day at a time.

Sounds like you are headed in the right direction.


Jenni said...

Shewt Kate I have no idea. I don't have any kids yet who have turned out the way I dreamed they would, for worse or better. It's a mixed bag.

I do think your plan so far sounds reasonable, and that you are wise to let Skaterboy make his own choice and to step back and let it go as much as you can.

Wish I had some vast stores of wisdom for you.