Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Journey is too much for me...alone

So as those of you that peek in on my other blog may have noticed, I'm posting there alot more often again. I'm trying to piece together what may cause my OCD flare-ups and what exactly settles them down. nothing like a little good arm chair self-analysis. There was a nice period that I didn't feel paralyzed. I thought it was because I was taking the Ambien and getting to sleep instead of wallowing in my obsessive morbid thoughts.

But, I'm still taking my Ambien. And it's starting all over. One thing I think I need to avoid is the TV. Comedies are great. But, it seems the dramas are having to go further and further to scare and shock us. Well, it's working for me. I'm more scared and more shocked. It used to be that crimes against children were untouchable in those series. Now, it seems to be every other episode. Even the news programs on TV are designed to scare us and shock us. Again, it's working for me. Granted, I know I'm especially susceptible to these anxieties, but I have noticed it in other mothers as well. I'll stick to getting my news from the NPR. The radio is good. it has no images to seer into my memory.

Chowder and I are also in a rough spot. Some financial things that had been neglected are really piling up on us now. Nothing terribly dire, but very stress-inducing. And I'm still having to overcome some bitterness about the whole thing. We will be fine. But, we have to get there, first.

It all reminds me of my favorite scripture verse 1 kings 19:7

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa The angel of the LORD came back a second time
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand touched him and said, "Get up and eat,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafor the journey is too much for you."

So folks, I need to continue to get up and I need to continue to feed myself on God's word and promises. For the journey is indeed too much for me. Thanks be to God for his angels.


5 comments:

Melanie said...

You're in my prayers.

Pastormac's Ann said...

Praying for you Cakes.

Mama26blessings said...

Praying for you, my rheumatologist actually recommended to me to shut off the TV and ignore news to help control my Fibromyalgia symptoms, because mine are stress related a lot of the time. I'm sorry you have to deal with OCD, I have had it in a mild way and even just that much, it takes over your life. I will keep praying for the Lord to ease this time for you!!
I also, love the pic below!!Such a beautifully precious family!!((((HUGS))))
God bless, Penny

IsraeliMom said...

Thank you for sharing that in your post. I sooooo see your point about how watching the news and even drama/action movies can trigger anxiety. I wonder if it's a mom thing as well. I sometimes find myself lying in bed and asking myself how I can turn off that anxiety. I know it's not helping anyone, but it's there all the same.

I never really thought about it as related to OCD though. I tagged it under my anxiety disorder ;)

Jenni said...

Oh Kate, I so sympathise with the TV/news thing. Just stay away from it. Far, far away. I can't handle the images in my head either. I pray I can be an 'angel' to you with my prayers as you keep fighting this fight.