Monday, April 27, 2009


What a week I've left behind and what a few weeks I have ahead of me. I didn't get as much done last week as I wanted, but I did turn in several homework assignments and got some Spring cleaning done. It was great for the kids to be able to be outside pretty much all week. The weather was beautiful! And I spent some time doing stuff with them that I need to do more of.


I have been working on my new website and hope to have it up sometime in the next week. It won't be the most seamless transition because I have never done anything like this. Hopefully it will all come together.


Chowder has gone to Iowa for 3 weeks. He is doing some sort of training thingamajig for family ministry. Today was our first full day without him. We did a good job and held it together all day. But's almost midnight and I have no one to snuggle in with. I started taking my OCD medication last week anticipating the anxiety. I was taking a 1/4 dose. But last night I upped it to a 1/2 dose. I'm feeling pretty well, though my morbid thoughts still get stuck. Like when Ladybug came in this morning looking for him and she cried the most quiet, pitiful cry, would not let me hold her and she climbed back into her crib to weep softly all by herself. And I couldn't get the "What if" thoughts out of my head. The "this is what it would be like if he died" thoughts. And then I began to weep softly all by myself.

The other thing is that I really miss him. I like him quite a bit and he always makes his presence known, so there is an obvious "Chowder Vacuum." We have set up video chat on our computers and text several times a day. I know it's so hard at the beginning, but soon it will be over and he will be home. with me. where he belongs.


Humphrey is having some sort of gastrointestinal issues, right now. Let me tell you, a 160 lb dog can really stink a place up. Plus every couple of hours he starts whining because he needs to go out. I'm hoping that will not be the case all night long.


That possible move I was writing about a few weeks ago? It is still in the process, but look at this...

It certainly sweetens the pot. 1890's farmhouse on 12 1/2 acres 5bd 2ba 2900 sq ft. I am suddenly pining for wide open spaces.


Melanie said...


And that house looks awesome!

Jenny said...

Wow 3 weeks is a long time. How very touching that you & Chowder are still so much in love and one another’s wholeness. I know you will be thrilled to have him back. I hope the time speeds by for you and LB.

I went back and re-read your post about the move, it really sounds like it would be an over all positive thing even if it creates some logistical challenges. You sound like your in a good place about it. The house looks awesome! I hope it's really nice and spiffy (read modern & functional) on the inside.

LOL at the doggy tummy troubles, poor fella.

I tried turning my screen off and then negotiated to working on the computer but not connecting to the internet...didn't last a day.

Rachel said...

Hey girl!! Where is Chowder at here in iowa?? I'm east of Sioux City and I imagine he's probably in the Des Moines area!?
Keep your chin up!! You'll make it. Oh and feel free to pop on my blog. Give away time!! FINALLY!!

gem said...

That looks like a great house. You know me, chickens pigs and lots of pets will win me over any day!
Sounds like a good idea to try and stay ahead of things and go back on your meds before things get out of hand.
Hope the three weeks go quickly for you (and chowder!). Will he get home on the weekends?

valerie said...

3 wks on your own is tough - glad you have the video chat. Sorry about Ladybug, but you know, I have thoughts like that late at night, too. It's just tough sometimes. Hopefully the time will pass quickly. Good for you in recognizing you needed to up your meds.

eugh (ee-oo - I have no idea how to spell the sound I want to make!) to the dog. :p At least he goes out rather than on the rug!

Love, love, love the house!