Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The Resolution of last year's Resolution...

Last year around this time I made one very big and important resolution. I resolved that 2008 would be the year that I went back to school to finish my degree. And I am going to check that off my list, even though officially I did not go back in 2008. I did however, apply and get accepted in 2008 and I will be starting this month.

Should it have taken an entire year to do that? well, no. But, it turns out that I am a really big chicken. I can't tell you how many times I sat in front of this computer to write the stupid essay and ended up just sitting here. orrrrr poking around on various message boards. orrrrrr playing games on my kids Webkinz accounts. (I rock Home Before Dark!) I was paralyzed. I have no idea why. Well, maybe. I mean, I still feel such weird insecurities from my first college career and the whole teen pregnancy thing. My how those doubts get themselves so dug into our spirits that they become interwoven with the threads of ourselves. It doesn't take as much courage as I expected. It takes...persistence. And patience. And precision. To go back over that fabric and pull out those threads one by one. It takes time.

It took me 2 years. 2 years from when I realized that I wanted to attend St. Mary of the Woods and then actually getting it done. I would keep going back to the website. Keep looking at the application. My biggest dread was awakening the old demons by requesting my transcripts. I finally had to sit myself down and force myself to send the forms. And in the end, there was no big overshadowing monster. There were instead, 2 years worth of credits! And to think I was so afraid of this demon I almost just pretended I never went to school!

So, I am officially a co-ed. Do you think they'll let me join a sorority?

9 comments:

gem said...

I think your courage and determination is amazing.
I have been procrastinating for years about doing a night class in photography for heaven's sake. Maybe admitting that is the first step in actually doing something about it but I wouldn't hold my breath?!

JLP said...

2 years' worth? Wow! You're halfway there already. Way to go.

Sophie said...

oooh congratulations!!!

KellyLynn said...

yeahhh Cakes! Maybe one day i will finish my last yr. 30 lousy credits and i can't seem to do it!

dawnielle said...

I can't believe I just happened upon your blog....from Miss Mel, aka BB, but I am facing the same thing. I feel too old to be going to school with 20 somethings, too young not to, and have no idea how many credits I have....I think I'm going to bite the bullet and try one class. If it goes well, next fall I'm in.

You just gave me more courage! :-)

julie said...

I would totally want you in my sorority!!

Congrats!

Niki said...

At least try to join a sorority! That adventure and your writings about it would be so fun!

Proud of you for beating old demons and doing what you set out to do! Good on ya!

Also, LOVED the Webkinz comments, since Andy and I are currently addicted. I am horrible at Home Before Dark, but am pretty good at Pizza Palace and Cash Cow. And I'm determined to rock Smoothie Moves!

Mel said...

Well done brave Cakes!! What is RSV by the way, is she better?
Your pregnancy with her almost sent me over the broody edge but I am all good now. You should see Tertia's belly, amazing for 20 weeks and oh so exciting!

Anonymous said...

Congrats Cakes!
Loving loving your blog.
Marie 15.