Thursday, August 02, 2007

Ok..I have another confession

You know those really annoying people who are constantly correcting other people's grammar? me, too. I'm not in the Grammar Police. I am however, in the Science Police. I can't help it! I know it's annoying because I was raised by scientists!! They used to drive me crazy! One time I invited my new best friend over to have dinner with us and my parents spent the entire dinner debating their theories on how the moon got into orbit. I was failing biology in high school and my parents were both dumbfounded and wanted to know why I never came to them for help. Were they kidding?! A five minute explanation turned into an hours long lecture. thanks, but no thanks.

total. nerds.

But now, I've become one of them. I can't even read Curious George to my kids without constantly fuming about the fact that George is NOT a monkey! Monkeys have tails. And don't try to give me the Macaque theory. It doesn't fly! Monkeys can't swing from limb to limb only apes can because their shoulder joints are formed for the swinging motion. How hard would have been to draw on a tail?! It's all I can do to not scream at the zoo when parents tell their kids to look at the monkeys when we're standing in front of the chimpanzees! *pant pant* They are apes! not monkeys!!

Frogs are not the same thing as toads.
Tortoises are not the same as turtles.
Porpoises are not the same as dolphins.
It's a sea star not a starfish.
Spiders are not insects.
Heat lightning has nothing to do with the temperature. It is a coincidence.
You did NOT see the Northern Lights when you were in Argentina! That doesn't even make any sense!!

I could go on and on. I know. I have a problem.

And while I respect my friends that are Creationist, I am a definite Evolutionist and I started yelling at a poor woman standing next to me in Toys R Us while I was shopping for the twins' birthday. The Discovery Channel had dinosaur toys with cavemen in the package! And the Flinstones?! Always drove me crazy. Whenever my kids go through the litany of man eating things (which for whatever reason they offer poor Ladybug up to in sacrifice. Would a shark eat Ladybug? Would a lion eat Ladybug? etc.) When they ask if dinosaurs eat people I get so damn irritated. like irrationally irritated with them. No, because people didn't live with dinosaurs.

Where I really lose my mind and tick people off is at museums. Parents, if you don't know the answer, don't make something up. Whenever I hear that (and it's usually men) I call them on it. "Sir, you just made that up. Why don't you tell your son that he has a great question and you don't know the answer but will find it out for him." or "Sir, you know there are people that work here that actually know the answer to that question." I know I should mind my own business. I just can't help it!

I blame my parents.


Jenni said...

Cracking. me. up!

I was raised by a geophysicist and when I became a Creationist he took it as a personal insult.

Have you ever read Calvin and Hobbes? His dad (Calvin's) was the ultimate answer-maker-upperer.

"The reason photographs used to be black and white is because the whole *world* used to be black and white..."

Cakes said...

Yes! He cracked me up!

Gary Larson wrote about the letters he used to get from scientists regarding his Far Side cartoon. One entomologist wrote him about one of his cartoons that showed a dead fly at a fly dinner party. The entomologist was upset and told him that flies don't really curl up their legs like that when they die. Completely ignoring the fact that flies don't have dinner parties!

yeah. that's me.

Jenni said... does anyone KNOW that flies don't have dinner parties?

Anonymous said...

At your convenience, could you explain how a woman who believes in God and his Word does not believe that He created mankind?

Cakes said...

ahhh...I was waiting for this, Anon. I have to say it took longer than I expected. And yes, I promise I'll get to it this weekend.

Anonymous said...

Have to admit I am also curious as to the evolution thing? Some things in the bible are pretty hard to believe like getting all those animals in that big boat? Any explanations for that one?
Mel aka HC.

Cakes said...

ho boy. I'm going to have to put my thinking cap on. ;)

Multi-tasking Mom said...

I love this post. I can bite my tongue on matters of grammar, spelling, art or even faith, but history, science and math are another matter. I love it when my kids ask me a question that I don't have an answer for. That gives us an opportunity to look it up together, a much richer lesson.