Friday, March 23, 2007

I need to go away for a little while...

Starting tomorrow, I will be turning off my computer and staying away until after Easter. I have several reasons:

1.) I am spending literally 5 or more hours on the computer. Mostly at night. Mostly feeding my OCD. Mostly wasting away my life and filling my days with anxiety. Mostly to the detriment of my family. I was told by my doctor that Ambien is a L3 drug and can be used while breastfeeding, and since Ladybug has been sleeping 10+ hours a night without nursing I am going to try taking it tonight. Hopefully, just the sleep itself will begin to calm my mind.

2.) Spring Cleaning. Tis the season and Lordy do we need it. A good airing out. a good scrubbing down. Just thinking about it makes me feel lighter and fresher. Way better than any New Year's euphoria. One big part of this Spring's schedule will be taking care of the very picture of Urban Blight that is my backyard. We will be putting in a patio and sodding and doing some plantings. The kids want to do a fairy garden. This is going to take alot of work as you can see. And it needs to happen in the next month or so. The heat index gets to 100+ degrees by the end of May.

3.) I need to spend my evenings in reading and prayer. I have been reading Calm My Anxious Heart. And though Linda Dillow and I disagree some places theologically, as with all things there is always some to learn from one another. One statement I read last night has really set me to action..."We say we want more faith, but really what we want is sight. Sight says, 'I see that it's good for me, so God must have sent it,' but faith says, 'God sent it, so it must be good for me.' God asks us to walk by faith, not by sight." whoa, boy. Does that sum me up, or what? huh?

So, I need to walk away from this trap, right now. Release its hold on me. Put my life back on track. get in some extra laughing and silliness. wash these cobwebs off of my motivation, rev it up and get moving. We had a nice cleansing rain last night. This afternoon the sunshine came out on the new, fresh Springness. It's time to take some deep breaths and live my life appreciating the gifts. ugh. I hate February. Thank God for Spring! I'll see you all after the Resurrection!


shaz said...

good luck! enjoy your break!! be well :)

may you find peace. amen.

Jenni said...

Praying for you, Kate. Many hugs, and prayers that the time away brings you to the place of freedom God wants you!

julie said...

I have been feeling much of the same lately. I have drastically cut down on my computer time lately and gone back to the land of the living. It is really hard to have a happy balance.

Have a blessed Easter, enjoy your family.


leadfoot said...

i think BALANCE might be another way of God telling us to get our stuff together. otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to do, would it?