Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A Big Family discussion I've never had

...until now.

So, last night I started back at the bookstore. fun! fun! fun! I love working there. I'm filling one of my coworkers in on the expansion of my family. A customer overhears the conversation and feels the need to join in.

"5 kids?! You have 5 kids?!"
(eyeroll and internal sigh)
"Yep. Sure do!"
"You don't look like you have 5 kids."
(this one always baffles me)
"uh thanks? Not sure what a person with 5 kids is supposed to look like, I guess."
"No, I mean. You look great! and young!"
(suspicious hmmmmm)

So far, the conversation is going as expected. I have had this conversation hundreds of times. But this is where is takes a turn into something that I could never have guessed at.

"You know what? You should be on Survivor!"
"Yeah, I can totally make that happen. I work with casting for the Survivor show."

Now, you, like me, are not believing this guy. You, like me, are thinking this guy is a total nutjob. So, you, like me, try to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

"You know what? Thanks. but that just wouldn't be possible."
"Seriously, you would be great blah blah blah"
"I really do work with casting. I'm in town for the holidays visiting my wife's family."
"Well, either way. You got the wrong gal. I am decidedly not a contestant for Survivor."
"Why not?"
"I can't even watch the show because of all the 6th grade pettiness. I have no interest in not bathing or brushing my teeth for a month. And I wouldn't leave my children for a month."
"But, you could think of it as a vacation. I'm sure you need some time by yourself."
"A vacation for me would not involve eating bugs on an island with a bunch of grown-up children. Now start a show about a mother of five kids who spends a month at a spa on a drinking binge and you can give me a call."
"A family of five could sure use the prize money."
"I would never win. I simply don't care enough. And a million dollars would be the minimum I would accept to be away from my family for a month. Sorry. This just isn't my gig. Now, when you start a new show about a mother of five who is given a housekeeper for a year, give me a call.

Now, while this guy was probably a fake. I did appreciate the distinct break from regular conversations I have about my family. and it left me walking around all night saying, "Survivor? Are you kidding? freak."

Dearie was very disappointed that I turned it down.


samiam said...

Too funny! I guess this guy thinks if you can manage 5 kids, that Survivor would be easy for you. LOL!