Common Focus (transferred from other format)

It all goes by so fast. Even these days right now where I am scrambling and exhausted. or maybe MORE these days because I am scrambling and exhausted, I feel it all just slipping through my finger tips. They really do grow up so fast and right before our very eyes. Sweeting was *just* born! Wasn’t she? Weren’t they all?

Some of it is a welcome adjustment, such as the way the kids are able to pitch in more now that they are older. This week’s chores are Jellybean and Ladybug washing and folding one load of laundry a day (I still have to do another load, but still!) and The Meatball is spraying and wiping down all the bathrooms everyday (I clean them thoroughly once a week) and Porkchop is feeding the pets and cleaning up their waste everyday. That part is really nice.

But, that also leads us to the other places. The peer relationships that can be so tricky to navigate. The popular toys that go against our values. The introduction of media that we feel is too mature for them. This is where the growing up gets sticky and the test for how well we are holding on to our family’s values and identity. This is where I find the real struggles of parenting. This is where second guessing can begin to plague me. Is it really important that we don’t watch High School Musical, yet? What are my reasons for that again? Barbie? Power Rangers? In the end will really matter? Am I making a mountain of too many little mole hills? Aren’t there more important core issues that I need to stand on? But then aren’t all these little pieces a part of holding on to the core issues? How do we decide which activities we participate in?

I read once in one of the million parenting books that I have read, that each family should write its own mission statement. This idea intrigued me because mission statements are so key to the non-profit organizations in which I participate. The mission statement should be short and to the point and then help an organization or family focus its...well, mission. An organization cannot do everything. That dilution of mission means that it will do many things poorly instead of a few things well. So, if something comes up that does not fit in our mission? then we simply don’t do it. Girl Scouts? A great organization but if it’s not a part of who are family wants to be, than great! Decision made. And not just another thing that we have to add to our list of things we are doing. It is too easy for a family to fall into the “do many things poorly” trap. and Hannah Montana? Bakugan? Does it fit with our values? no? yes? super decision made. As we start embarking on this next phase of family life, it would be good to have a common focus.

When Chowder gets home I think we will be investigating this further. It will make each individual decision easier when we have a larger lens to look

not so good at this solo parenting thing

I need to remember that Ladybug is like a bad fart, silent but deadly.

While I was up changing Sweeting's diaper, I left Ladybug in the family room. By the time I had come back downstairs, she had downed half a bottle of Hershey's syrup. I found her sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor nursing it like a baby bottle.

I went upstairs for a few minutes while I disciplined Porkchop and came downstairs to find Ladybug had made them pretty! meaning written all over herself and Sweeting with green permanent marker.

I went upstairs during Ladybug and Sweeting's naptime to throw in some laundry and found the nursery's door open. Ladybug was in Sweeting's crib and had covered them both in Post-it notes.

Randomness...

What a week I've left behind and what a few weeks I have ahead of me. I didn't get as much done last week as I wanted, but I did turn in several homework assignments and got some Spring cleaning done. It was great for the kids to be able to be outside pretty much all week. The weather was beautiful! And I spent some time doing stuff with them that I need to do more of.

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I have been working on my new website and hope to have it up sometime in the next week. It won't be the most seamless transition because I have never done anything like this. Hopefully it will all come together.

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Chowder has gone to Iowa for 3 weeks. He is doing some sort of training thingamajig for family ministry. Today was our first full day without him. We did a good job and held it together all day. But now...it's almost midnight and I have no one to snuggle in with. I started taking my OCD medication last week anticipating the anxiety. I was taking a 1/4 dose. But last night I upped it to a 1/2 dose. I'm feeling pretty well, though my morbid thoughts still get stuck. Like when Ladybug came in this morning looking for him and she cried the most quiet, pitiful cry, would not let me hold her and she climbed back into her crib to weep softly all by herself. And I couldn't get the "What if" thoughts out of my head. The "this is what it would be like if he died" thoughts. And then I began to weep softly all by myself.

The other thing is that I really miss him. I like him quite a bit and he always makes his presence known, so there is an obvious "Chowder Vacuum." We have set up video chat on our computers and text several times a day. I know it's so hard at the beginning, but soon it will be over and he will be home. with me. where he belongs.

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Humphrey is having some sort of gastrointestinal issues, right now. Let me tell you, a 160 lb dog can really stink a place up. Plus every couple of hours he starts whining because he needs to go out. I'm hoping that will not be the case all night long.

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That possible move I was writing about a few weeks ago? It is still in the process, but look at this...



It certainly sweetens the pot. 1890's farmhouse on 12 1/2 acres 5bd 2ba 2900 sq ft. I am suddenly pining for wide open spaces.

My new favorite thing

I have been using a crappy plastic 3 qt mixer since I went away to college the first time. I guess it can't be too crappy since it lasted 20 years. But it was definitely time for a new one. One batch of cookie dough could overload it. And one batch of cookie dough may last one day in my house. I had been wanting to buy a larger capacity one for years. One I can double or even triple the dough in. Well, I finally did it. I bought a KitchenAid 600 series 6 qt professional mixer. And I'll tell you what finally made me do it.

Two weeks ago my awesome KitchenAid food processor met a tragic end. I was mixing my second batch of foccacia dough in it that day and the motor got so hot (I assume) that the dough blade became fused to the metal shaft. It would not come off for anything. I called their customer service number and she gave me a couple of things to try. They didn't work so she simply said, "Ok. We'll get a new one out in the mail tomorrow and just send the old one back in the same box." And just like that a new one came. And so just like that I became a loyal customer. And the owner of a new kick butt mixer.

Don't you just love my still life! It just so happened that Ladybug dumped those grapes there right before I took the picture. I didn't even notice until I was editing the picture!

the one about the birthday gifts...

Another reason we love the kids' school is the parents. We have a great group of laid back, fun, noncompetitive, intelligent folks. The children reflect that. As do their birthday parties. My kids do not buy birthday presents for each other, much less for friends. We make our gifts and the recipients always love them. For example, one of their friends was having a party at a park that has a big fountain. My kids made a whole fleet of paper boats to sail in the fountain and paper admiral hats to go with them. The kids all had a blast with them. There are your standard homemade playdoh and bottles of bubbles which are fun. We have done cookie/muffin mixes in a jar which are actually a huge hit with kids and parents. As are "experience" gifts. Arranging with the parent ahead of time a date you can take the birthday child to the pool with you or a favorite of my kids' friends has been coming over to bake and decorate cookies. Or do a kid friendly cooking class. Be creative! Think about what kids like to do. Then take pictures and afterward make a little photobook and give that to the child. The computer is our friend. We print off fun labels for the bottles and jars. Some other favorites...

• check out this website for really cool templates to make lots of cool stuff.
  
• Custom cds- Each child makes a mix cd of their favorite songs. They design album covers and cd stickers. We package them all in a decorative envelope.
• Library bags. You can buy some blank canvas bags quite cheaply at the craft store. Scan a picture your child drew into the computer. Add some text ie Suzy could spend all day with a good book and print it out on an iron on transfer. Iron it on to the bag. You can use a template to make a library card holder envelope from another piece of child's artwork. You could also make beach bags.
  
• Customized Word Magnets. In a Word document, make a list of the names of the birthday child and her family members, your child's name and list nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, articles etc. Using simple present tense makes it simpler. ie Suzy happily dances with the singing hippopotamus. Skip a line between each line of text with 3 spaces between words. Then you can either print the sheets off and attach them to adhesive backed magnet sheets (cheaper) or you use printer friendly magnet sheets. We put them in a decorated tin.
• Book Plates. Scan a piece of your child's artwork into a Word document. Format it for large shipping labels. Add text ie This book belongs to Suzy Smith. and duplicate it for each label. Print them out and separate them into a nice stack and tie with a ribbon. We usually include a gently read favorite book with a label already in it.
• Stationary. Have your kids fill a piece of paper with a pattern. Like rows of hearts or rainbow stripes. scan it into your computer and fade the colors out. Fill a whole page with the design and add text ie From the desk of Suzy Smith at the top. You can also do this in landscape so you can actually have two sheets per page after you cut it in half. Print off ten sheets and tie with a ribbon. Then you can use a envelope template to make envelopes from colored copy paper or from other sheets printed with their design on it. You can use card stock and add some little note cards or thank you notes. You can also make smiley face sealing stickers from price dots.

I'm going to try to upload some images of these things so you can get a better picture of them. I don't have them on my new computer so I'm going to have grab them off the old one.

My point is simply that birthdays don't have to be filled with cheap junk and your homemade gifts don't have to be quaint. You can design some pretty cool stuff with your kids and the computer. I'm looking forward to figuring out what we can do with Photobooth!

All my piggie ladies...

I am ordering a hog next week and I want some tips on butchering. I would love to have sausages and bacon made, but I'd also like to make some myself. I think it would be a cool thing for the kids to experience. once!

So, I know I have several readers that keep pigs and I would love to know your suggestions on a cut list and what I should ask the butcher for. (Do I ask the butcher to give me the casings?) AND your fave sausage and bacon recipes.


and think of me tomorrow. I'll be all nervous and shy at my new school all day.

Gee thanks, Octuplet Lady.

I belong to two online parenting communities. One is a parenting after IVF community and the other is parenting lots of kids. And while these may seem like opposing communities, they actually share a deep love for children. Both the ones hard fought for and easily gained. Many times I find myself an ambassador for the other perspective because I fit so neatly in between.

Both communities have been hit very negatively in the media and public sphere by the woman who just gave birth to Octuplets. If you have somehow managed to not hear about this, just Google it. Both communities have been invaded by reporters wanting to interview people about our experiences. With trepidation, some have given the interview. But, the articles portrayed the stories they wanted to tell. In the case of my large family friend who was interviewed, out of the dozens of pictures they took of the family, the NYT decided on the picture that showed them barefoot, standing in front of religious art and ripped wallpaper (from their autistic son.) hmmmm....Do you think the NYT had a vision they wanted to flesh out?

But, the communities are also now being invaded by "Critics." On the message board of my Lots of Kids community someone posed this question:

I am one of "those people" who has always disdained large families. But maybe you can change my perspective by sharing yours. Why is having lots of kids more important than providing the best life you can for each?

That isn't snark; I'm genuinely curious. Explain to me how you negotiate these tradeoffs.

I'm posting my response with some prettying up because I don't think this is an uncommon thought...

First off, I'm not sure why I'm supposed to convince you of anything. If you don't want a big family, don't have one. (And that was not snarky, either. I promise.) I think the main thing is that these days, we are not forced to have big families. We choose them. We choose them because, for us, it makes our lives fuller. If a family of one child or two makes your life fuller? Than that's the right family size for you.

And the phrase, "best life" is such a curious one. A completely subjective idea. What would have been the best life for me growing up would not necessarily be the best life for you. And how can you generalize so much about large families? It makes it sound like having only one or two children guarantees a "best life." I know plenty of children in one or two child families who get less attention from their parents than ours do. Our family has made conscious decisions that help us lead a life using a smaller footprint and using less resources than most one or two child families. The idea that family size somehow predicts happiness and fulfillment is absurd in my mind. Our kids come third (only after our faith and our marriage.) And they are very well cared for emotionally and physically.

I don't think people really know what life is like in our family. We laugh more than any other family I know. I still take plenty of time for myself and for my husband and I. I'm not a drone. Going about doing mindless work in a gray world. My children have taught me so much about myself and about how to relax and enjoy life. There is a perception that we are somehow this big ball of stress and chaos. Ok. maybe the chaos part is right, but we actually DON'T sweat the small stuff. For me, I love that insignificant things that should not occupy my time or thoughts...don't. Because, my time and thoughts are filled up with important things.

I love that I roller skate and write poems and bake depending on the different child. I'm learning how to knit with my daughter and play the guitar from one of my sons who is also teaching a little brother. My kids have each other to stand up for them against the world. (I overheard Porkchop and The Meatball talking about how they needed to talk with a girl at school because she was being mean to Jellybean) To help them with homework. (They are always challenging each other to do better.) Things they would rather get from each other than from a parent. But, they still get everything they could want or need from us.

Our youngest is 4 months old and I'm having to constantly tell my kids to chill out on the more siblings question. They want more! (ok. not Skaterboy.) They love their lives. We are a very laid back and fun family. Other families have commented on how they feel so comfortable around us because there is no drive to impress.

As far as the whole "older kids raising the younger kids" things I hear about all the time, again, I have to beat my kids off their younger siblings with a stick (and NO, not literally) I'm constantly telling them, "I'm the Mommy, I'll take care of that." And they are begging to do it instead. Should I then forbid them from helping their little siblings? Jellybean is the only one that Ladybug will allow to help her onto the potty. When I tried to stop her, Jellybean said, "Why? I want to help her?" and stomped off in a huff. And The Meatball helps Porkchop tie his shoes and button his oxford. Without my asking! Is it somehow bad that I'm raising children who love each other and want to help each other out? They are learning important relationship skills and it bonds them together.

Don't get me wrong. Life isn't always peachy. We have days of nonstop bickering (myself and Chowder included). I yell too much. The wet gray winter can get very long. The laundry pile can get very high. And the toilets get amazingly dirty. But, in my mind it all comes down to a game of Yahtzee. Brothers and sisters chanting for that last 4 for their brother's last roll of the dice and when it comes up a 3 they all groan together and when it comes a 4 they all raise a cheer and yell "Yahtzee!!"

My favorite things...slings

I'm a bit of a baby carrier addict. I love them. They make mommying so much easier and babying so much more comforting. With Ladybug, I purchased my first pouch sling from the amazing and talented Niki over at Coastal Slings. You really need to check out her website. You pick the fabrics email her your measurements and she custom makes your sling so it fits you perfectly. And she does it all quickly and frankly cheaply. Note that her prices are in Canadian.

Here's what I see when I look down into my sling at Sweeting...



and it doesn't take long until she looks like this...


With Sweeting, I ordered a ring sling from Raspberry Baby. What I like about the ring sling is its adjustability. And I like to be able to wear the baby on my chest kangaroo-ish style with the feet tucked in. She did a wonderful job the way she attached the rings is fabulous! and the fabric is beautiful. and she even switched it for me because I like to sling from left shoulder. Love it.


Here is brand spanking new Sweeting in my ring sling. She was the smiling-est newborn I ever saw...
and here's me, looking a little rough in the early days...


Both slings are from work at home moms and both are very professionally made. And I'm a bit of a snob about these things.

The promised update...

I got to spend the day being poked and prodded to try and discover the mystery ailment that causes me to be unable to breathe at the end of my pregnancy. Not regular unable to breathe. Extra-special unable to breathe. Asthma-like. But it refuses to respond to any asthma treatments. (hospital breathing treatments, oral steroids, inhaled steroids, albuterol inhalers, Advair, Claritin, nothing!) I have had my heart explored, my lungs X-rayed, today I got to have my horrific varicose veins scanned for blood clots (very uncomfortable, I do not recommend it) and pulmonary such and such tests. All this time and money to show that...Yes, I cannot breathe. and No, they do not know why.

The only remedy? Deliver this darling little Sweeting of mine. (The delivery part is a little tricky when you can't take a deep breath to push.)

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I started the index card system from Side-Tracked Home Executives and I have to say that I love the hands on concreteness of it. FlyLady drove me batty with all her pestering emails. This is completely under my control and I can decide what works best when.

The basic premise is to write down all of your daily jobs on yellow index cards, bi/weekly on blue, bi/monthly and seasonal on white. You indicate how much time each job takes, any job being 10 mins or less is indicated as a "mini." In the index file box you have month cards and 1-31 cards. You then make yourself a little weekly schedule mine is as follows:

Monday: Heavy Cleaning day (4 hours)
Tuesday: Laundry
Wednesday: Quiet Day (pay bills, make menu/grocery lists, make appointments etc)
Thursday: run errands
Friday: Moderate Cleaning (2 hours) and Laundry
Saturday: Baking
Sunday: Family and God

then with the help of my calendar I plug all the index cards into the slots and voila! I have a schedule! Once I'm done with my card I move it to the slot when I will do it next.

It's a bit more in depth then I'm allowing here (They wrote a whole book after all!) but that is the general gist. What I like about this system as well, is that once Sweeting gets here and someone comes over and asks what they can help with, I can just pull the cards from that day's slot and tell them to pick a card! How beautiful is that?!

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For my birthday a couple of weeks ago, my darling beloved husband made me a mix CD (Yes, we still make these for each other! Remember we met in high school!) and there was a song on it that I thought was nice and all but couldn't quite place until he told me it reminded him of when he came home from Belfast...and came looking for me again.
luckily, he found me.
Some day I'll tell you that story, because well, it's one of the great love stories.
and the song? It turned me into a big puddle of weepy goo because then the song made all the sense in the world.

Finally, what I've been trying to tell everyone...

It's actually easier...

Anyone want to give me a little peer pressure...

Ok, I have a baby coming in 4ish weeks and summer took it's toll on our household as did the first trimester. So, clearly before Sweeting gets here, I need to get my act together. I already have an index card system I use for chores, but I need something to help me get my act together as far as getting into a good chore schedule.

I read Sidetracked Home Executives that came out 20 years ago and has proven the test of time. The writing is mediocre and I skimmed a lot of the stories and got down to the nitty gritty with the system itself. I like it. It goes with my ADDness and I like the compactness of the index card box.

One of the things that seems to really help with this system is peer pressure ie. misery loves company. So, does anyone want to join me? We can check in on each other once a week? What do you think?

ahhhh...ignorance really is bliss

Tonight I sat down to rework our budget.

So much has changed (by "changed" I mean gotten more expensive) and I have been naughty by not reworking my budget since last year. Boy, was it an eye opener. and angering. I had worked out of our budget last year, enough money to hire a cleaning woman to come in twice a month. Of course, all of that money is gone now. I went from having a $400+ a month surplus to a $134 a month shortfall. And Chowder's income has not increased for three years.

From groceries and gasoline (up $100 a month each and that's with us pulling back quite a bit) to our utilities and taxes (my water billed doubled, from $48 a quarter to $92, and natural gas is scaring me for the winter.)

My monthly reserve amount (the amount I put in savings every month to cover non-monthly expenses like insurance or birthdays) went up $250 a month. Granted, I added in Sweeting's estimated cost of birth and her first year of co-pays, as well as some new activities and lessons that the kids want to try. But, still the increase is a significant increase nevertheless.

Though I'm not panicking, I am definitely feeling the stress of trying to make it all come out. Especially, Christmas. I just spent $500 on school uniforms for the kids and school clothes for Skaterboy. Luckily, I don't have to pick up anything major for Sweeting. But, all the financial worries are on me right now. Well, all the other worries, too.

Our primary care doctor has decided to do one of those "Boutique Practices" where you have to pay him for the privilege of being his patient and having his email. So, we are without a doctor at the moment and Chowder's anti-depressants ran out a couple of months ago.

First big social decision for my daughters...

The number that gets quoted and sited in all the literature and articles I see is 25%.
or 1 in 4.
That number is the number of women who are sexually assaulted/molested by age 18.

from National Alert Registry

The statistics say that one out of every three to four girls has been sexually assaulted by the age of 18. One boy out of every six will be abused by the age of 18. Although we have some reports and convictions to base these statistics on, they are actually not accurate. So many cases of child molestation go unreported each year, so we really cannot estimate the real numbers. The FBI reports that the National Institute for Mental Health found that only 1% to 10% of victims ever tell that they were abused. Boys report far less than girls.

• The average child molester will molest fifty girls before being caught and convicted.
• A child molester that seeks out boys will molest 150 boys before being caught and convicted and he will commit at least 280 sexual crimes in his lifetime.
• The standard pedophile will commit 117 sexual crimes in their lifetime.
• Most sexual abuse happens between the ages of 7 and 13.
• There are over 491,720 registered sex offenders in the United States.
• 80,000 to 100,000 of the above offenders are missing.
• Molesters known by the family or victim are the most common abusers. The Acquaintance Molestation accounts for 70-90% of reported cases.

I have 5 friends who were sexually assaulted as children. 4 of them were at sleepovers.

Up until today, Chowder and I had tossed around the idea of a No Sleepover policy. It is actually a little hard for me, because I don't normally go extreme in parenting. But 1 in 4? That is way too big of a real risk. And because I can't trust myself to say, "Oh, well, that dad looks nice." or "Gee, her big brother is an honor student." (only to find out that the brother had a friend spend the night, too.) So, rather than getting into an awkward pick and choose which friends we think are safe enough and really quite possibly ending up wrong, and since we won't have double standards for our sons (who are also at risk) we thought it would be best to just eliminate sleepovers all together.

Today, one of Jellybean's new friends invited her for a sleepover. And I said no. I actually said, "No." It was hard at this age because she is only 6 and though we have had the Private Parts talk, it is not something I am ready to put out there just yet. But, I did explain to the mom and she wasn't offended. She said it made sense. And instead we arranged for Jellybean to go over and have dinner, watch a movie, and I will pick her up at 9:30p. A good substitute plan.

I know it will get harder for my kids to accept this rule as they get older and slumber parties become the norm, but we'll just have to deal when we get to that point. Slumber parties can be pretty nasty social experiments all in themselves and many times nothing nice is happening between midnight and 8am. We can always bring them back for breakfast in the morning. I just really feel that God put this in my heart, and that I am protecting at least one of them from something really horrible that could of been in their future.

Ho Boy...

Things are going to be crazy busy for the next two weeks as we gear up for school and various other crammings (like an end of summer camping trip). My posting may again become sporadic. But, I will have a couple of issues I'll want your opinions on.

School issues with Skaterboy
School options for Porkchop
School opportunities for Ladybug
And a couple of pregnancy/birth things

There will probably be some whining and little bit of desperate financial wrangling, and hopefully a pretty picture or two.

What's up for today?
9:00-10:00 am family worship service
11:00 am traditional worship (Chowder Only)
11:00-1:00 pm my sister's baby shower (she is due first week of Sept)
1:00 pm worship service at retirement home (Chowder only)
1:00-5:00 pm Back to School picnic for little ones
3:00-5:00 pm Watermelon Social for our block

Anybody seeing any room for where I can cram my daily nap in?
No?
me either.

Kids and Chores

In my house, chores are applied for and awarded according to experience and age. We have a bulletin board with a 4X6 picture of each member of the family. Next to each picture is the card for the Daily Job and the Weekly Job that has been selected
by that family member. I keep an index card box filled with Help Wanted cards.

Each Help Wanted card includes detailed instructions on how each job should be done. We have plenty of age appropriate jobs from Fish Feeder to Car Washer.
Lots of Kids has an awesome article on age appropriate chores. (My kids do a lot of the older kid stuff like folding and putting away their own laundry. They've been making their own beds since turning 4. They load and unload the dishwasher etc)

Daily Chores are done at the appropriate time of day. (Table setter at lunch and dinner. Librarian, who shelves books at bedtime) Weekly Chores are done on Saturday or whenever worker and I agree upon. I also emphasize that all materials used for job must be returned to proper place. I find the detailed instructions to be critical to getting the job done correctly and thoroughly and without need for parental nagging.

Here are some examples of my Help Wanted cards. Unfortunately, I used a Greeting Card program to make these. If I can get them into Word, I'll make the file available.
(My Dog Feeder card has not been updated.)




Now, these jobs are in addition to their regular daily routine of making beds, cleaning up after themselves etc.

Where's the Beef?

Well, it's all the rage these days and God knows I love to be up on the latest trends! Yesterday, about 170 lbs of prime (USDA's highest grade) beef showed up at my house. I shared a cow with 3 other families. I know that 170 lbs of meat (1/4 cow) sounds daunting so I thought I'd break it down for you and show you what you're getting.

First step is finding a farmer. I had conversations with several vendors at our local farmer's market. (You can also check out Local Harvest) All of them sold there beef by the side or half side as well as what they were offering at the market. Now, a farmer cannot legally sell you the meat from 1/2 a cow so you end up buying a part of the cow from the farmer and then buying the processing from the packing house. We ended up getting our 1/4 cow from a farmer in Iowa (father of a woman in the neighborhood) who sells his prime grade, grass fed, anti-biotic free, hormone free beef to a couple of the high end steakhouses in Kansas City (not the city I live in.)

Different farmers sell their beef differently. If you only want a 1/4 cow, some farmers make you choose the front quarter or the back quarter. Well, one has all the steaks and the other all the roasts. So I wanted a deal where I could just evenly split up all the cuts.

My 1/4 share of the cow had a hanging weight of 228 lbs. That's the weight of the 1/4 hanging on the hook waiting to be processed. I paid the farmer $1.49lb and the meat locker 43 cents a lb. My bill to the farmer was $339 and my bill to the locker including processing was $120. Making my total bill $460. That would make my beef $2.70 lb. I can barely find hamburger or stew meat for that price, much less prime anti-biotic free, hormone-free, grass fed beef. Have you seen the prices for that stuff?!

So, how much meat is that? you ask. Here's how it showed up.



Inside each box the meat was frozen and packed in coolers.



Here's the breakdown.


(All these weights are approximate)
19 x 2lbs ground beef
8 x 2lbs of ground beef patties
4 x 1lb of liver (for Humphrey)
2 x 5lbs of sirloin steaks
2 x 5 lbs of T bone steaks
6 x 4lb roasts
2 x 5 lbs of short ribs
4 x 5 lbs of rib steak
10 lbs of stew meat
3 x 5 lbs of round steak
3 x large package of soup bones

This filled one small chest freezer we have in the basement.

A little tip about grass fed beef. It comes out a lot leaner than corn fed beef. So, you don't want to cook it as long or else it can come out dry. I also use marinades that have some extra fat in them to help keep the meat moist. And with hamburgers I add a little really really soft butter into the mix before I make patties, again to add a little fat to the meat to keep it moist. But, if you get used to cooking it right, it is absolutely deeeeeelicious. Yummy.

Large dog for a large family...

So, when we started thinking about breeds to replace our beloved collies I knew only one thing, we wanted a big dog. Chowder grew up with no pets. (Ok, once he had a hamster for like 2 weeks but it bit his 4 year old nephew who then hit it over the head with a souvenir baseball bat.) I had Beaner and Fargo when we got married and we actually almost didn't get married when he suggested that we not get new dogs after they passed. For me, it was a quality of life issue and knew that I would not be happy if I had to live my entire life without a dog and I didn't want my children to grow up that way either. So, I told him he could pick the breed of the next dog.

He said he wanted a BIG dog.

My criteria:

• Shedding: I know most people think after two collies that I would want a short haired dog, but actually collies only shed twice a year. Profusely, yes. But, twice a year I would haul them off to the groomer and they would get rid of the undercoat and we were good to go. Unlike my mother's golden retrievers who are in a perpetual shed. I did not want any dog that is always shedding. That eliminated among others:
• Retrievers
• Bolting: I grew up with Setters. They were great dogs, but they were runners. They would literally knock us down when we opened the door to get out and run and run. Could they have been trained to not do that? Yes, to a certain extent, but I did not want it to be in the dog's instinct. My kids love to walk the dogs and I didn't want to have to worry about a dog that spotted a squirrel or another dog and suddenly bolted on them. That eliminated:
• Sight Hounds
• Irish Wolfhound
• Great Dane
• Greyhound
• Many hunting breeds
• Barking: Our only con with owning another collie was the barking. They are very "talkative" dogs. They bark when you throw a ball or when they are playing with you or when you are running with them. They just like to let you know what is going on and tell everyone how excited they are. So, if we weren't going to get another collie, (because that was really the only con, but it was a big one for us living in the city.) then we wanted to be sure that we didn't end up with another "talkative" breed. Much to our disappointment this eliminated:
• Great Pyreneese (who are also prone to bolting)
  
• Good with Children (of course): While many large breeds are known to be gentle and docile, there are some nuances that I wanted to be sure of. Like, I wanted a dog who would not just be good with my children but with any children that came to my house. I knew that for us that meant saying no to German Shepherds, though two of my friends have excellent Shepherds as family dogs, and surprisingly Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs who I read several places can be sensitive to children wrestling and misunderstand the situation and take action. Well, my house is like a freakin WWF without the soap opera and the monster trucks. So, we crossed off:
• German Shepherd
• Rottweiler
• Greater Swiss Mountain Dog
• Energy Level: I needed a dog that would have a moderate to low exercise requirement. While we go lots of outings and take our dogs with everywhere, I couldn't in good conscience get a dog that needed daily runs. We have a smallish city lot, so not much room to run. The dog would have gotten frustrated and bored and my house would have been destroyed.
• Trainability: I know that is not a word. But, again I was looking for a smart, quickly trained breed. My collies were extremely good and well-behaved but Beaner was a stubborn thing. I was glad I read that Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs frequently take longer to housebreak and their "childhood" lasts a lot longer than other breeds taking up to 2 years to mature. I didn't want a stubborn or aloof breed.
  
• Cost: Though we were prepared to spend several hundred dollars on a well bred dog, we did not want to have to spend thousands because we were picking the latest fad dog. That eliminated:
• Bernese Mountain Dogs
• Cleanliness: While dogs have a certain amount of dirt associated with it, I did not want a dog who was drawn to messy situations or were inherently messy. So, dogs who needed to be wet to be happy were off my list. And droolers. (Ah, you would think this would eliminate my St. Bernard! But, yes Humphrey is the much forbidden dry mouth St. Bernard. Many show breeders get their panties in a bunch about this saying that if you have a dry mouth St. Bernard than you don't have a "real" St. Bernard because they haven't been bred to standard. Well, this "standard" is a fairly recent development and if look at historical pictures of the breed they do not have the smoosh faced droopy mouth almost bull-dog appearance that they are being show bred for now. This may be great in the show ring but for my family we were looking for more of this or this.) So this eliminated:
• Newfoundlands
• Mastiffs

Our end list was very short. It had two breeds. Collies (with the barking caveat) and St. Bernards.

Now, many people are wondering why not go to the shelter and adopt a mutt or rescued dog. And if we didn't have small children, I would do that in a second. But, the reality is when you adopt a shelter dog you don't know its previous history and you never know when a behavior by your child might trigger some aggressive response. (Like my uncle trying to scoot the Cocker Spaniel they had just adopted, who was supposed to be a perfect family pet, off the chair he had been sitting on and the dog turned and bit him in the crotch. No lie. He needed stitches.) Yes, there are many great family pets adopted everyday and I know that not all come from abused homes. I really really do know this. And I know that there is no guarantee with a perfectly bred pure bred dog. For me the key is raising a puppy with my children and selecting a breed who's instincts don't clash with what I'm looking for in a family companion.

After all my research we found a breeder who was breeding exactly the type of dog I was looking for. She has another litter coming July 30th if you are in the Midwest and interested. And another breeder I was really interested in has a litter also due July 30th and he is Kentucky.

So, that sums up how we reached the decision of the type of dog we were looking for. By biggest advice is to research, research, research a breed before you decide on it. Many of the breeds that we eliminated were in our top 5 breeds, but I was glad to uncover some of the breed specific temperaments so I could compare that to my list of criteria. And then look around a bit for the breeder who is breeding what you want. We did not want a show dog, we wanted a companion. And I don't mean pet quality of a show breeder, I mean a dog that was bred strictly for companionship. There is a difference in the mission of the various breeders.

And we couldn't be happier with the outcome!

A Q&A about wrap slings

I have been neglecting my friend Cynthia who asked me about my wrap sling several months ago. Baby Jack will be here in 8 more weeks and he is doing great! (If you haven't been praying for Baby Jack, why on earth not? Get praying!)
So here is my Q&A with Cynthia...

(1) Is it the EllaRoo that you have?
yes. I have the 4.6m one. You can sometimes get a great deal on them on ebay. I live in the very hot and humid midwest. I like the Ellaroo because it is a lighter weight weave than some of the other woven wraps.

(2) I'm nervous I'm not going to get the tying down pat and will just become frustrated and never use it. Did you get used to the art of it fairly quickly?
No, I spent a lot of time practicing with dolls and stuffed animals! LOL! Honestly for me, the easiest most versatile way to tie the wrap is by following the Moby wrap instructions. I did not like the Moby wrap because it was too stretchy and I had to retie fairly often because it would stretch out too much. But the ease of pre-tying made using it extremely convenient. It will take more trial and error pre-tying because you'll need to get the feel for how much slack to have. It may be easier to get started with the hold and tie carries that come with the wrap.

My favorite newborn carry was the Newborn Cross Carry. It is very snuggly and secure. The baby will not swing away from your body like in a typical pouch or ring sling so I could do laundry and play with the kids. And because it uses both shoulders I could carry a bigger baby for longer.

(3) How old were your kids when you stopped using it?
Ladybug is 18months and I still carry her in the wrap or Mei Tai carrier. We have not owned a stroller other than our huge twin monstrosity. I find it much more convenient to get around with them in a carrier.

(4) I glanced at the directions of how to tie it, is it seriously just a knot in the back? Does that feel secure enough?
It is seriously just a knot. You'll want to change where you tie the knot. I usually adjust the fabric so I can tie it on my hip. That way it isn't poking into my back when I sit down, or pushing on the baby's butt. It really is secure.

(5) Can you sit (all the way to the ground) and get back up again without having to retie it?
It depends on the size of the baby and the way you are carrying him. While your baby is smaller and if you are using the Newborn Cross carry or the Cradle Hold then yes, you can sit comfortably and get back up no problem.

Again, I prefer the woven carriers, they really stay more secure. Also, in the Moby Wrap Cradle Hold directions above, my back hurts just looking at that picture. I carry my babies much higher than that. Even in my pouch sling, I ordered it a little snug because I like to carry the baby high. Now, word of warning. Try to switch which side you carry him in the first couple of months. The constant pressure on your very full breasts can lead to mastitis.

Did I cover it all?

Cakes 0- Squirrels 1

Ok guys. I am looking for some advice and resources as I plan my garden for this spring. We have only been in my neighborhood for 3 summers and have learned very quickly that unlike the other parts of the city and even Northwoods Minnesota, the squirrels in this neighborhood are particularly...shall we say, persistent.

Our pots of strawberries last year yielded nothing but small green nibbles before the squirrels carried them off. And yes, I saw they were squirrels and not the usual rabbits I've had to deal with. So, I'm wondering how my fellow gardeners fight off these...persistent...beasts and still end up with a basketful of tomatoes. I mainly plant in containers, a couple barrels of lettuce, some tomatoes, peppers, the usual, but would like to try a couple of small fruit trees. I have used bird netting and bamboo in the past but don't feel like that would be enough to protect the plants from the creatures who have chewed enormous holes in my heavy duty plastic city trash cart.

What do you use and where do you get it?

If you are offended by circle of life and all that...don't scroll down

Finally Po-Po has begun fulfilling his mission. Not bad for 6 months. I can't tell you how excited I was when he brought his gift to The Meatball. I was so proud. You have no idea how those little bastards are driving me crazy! I went to get a dish towel out of the drawer and it had little turds on it. I had to re-wash all the towels in the drawer!